Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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