New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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