Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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