I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This is classic penis vs brain.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
