Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
