Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
