Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
