I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
