Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
