I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize