He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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