Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize