scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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