Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
