I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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