I'm gonna have a badass scar
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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