well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
