The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
