I'm lost and stupid without you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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