some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
