I'm jealous of your bromance
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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