Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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