I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
