My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
