how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
