We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
