at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sext me about skeletons
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize