His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
