Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
