Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
