I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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