I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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