thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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