i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
