We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
