The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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