im drinking this country out of the recession.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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