shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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