im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
