I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
