Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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