No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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