Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
