I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
