Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
