Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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