FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The adults are the big ones right?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
