just tell him i said nine months
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
