i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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