wanna go halves on a baby?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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