yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
