There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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