Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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