I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
