I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Quick, to the slutcave!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize