in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
