Already got asked if we're dating
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
