U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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