singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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